I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
