I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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