I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
