...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
