I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
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