Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
