i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I just forgot I was standing up.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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