So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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