So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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