uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
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