your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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