You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
