the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
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