you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
