38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize