One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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