For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
