I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
