dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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