Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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