From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
