I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
