No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
