the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
She's the barista slut.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
