hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
