Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Randomize
