Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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