So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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