worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
