i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
