Whoa Z and x make the same sound
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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