I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
