he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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