Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
