meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
