There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
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