i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize