Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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