i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Randomize
