Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize