Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
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