I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
