Who did Billy Mays play for?
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize