the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
