Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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