I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize