it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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