i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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