so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
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