if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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