PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
