His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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