Your tits are I can't wait for
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
