Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Can Purell be used as lube?
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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