So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
