Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize