I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
