I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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