you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
