She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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