Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
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