margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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