Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
